Happy Birthday RIchard! | kiragirl79's Blog

Well, quick recap on the week since I have been too busy/lazy to get on here. Things are going better with the relationship. The sex has been great, especially when he woke me up last night for a little fun. He was more aggressive than he has been lately which was also extremely exciting. I really love it when his dominant side comes out and I miss the days when I would be bound and helpless...totally at his mercy. I hope that things will continue and we will grow sexually within the bdsm context. I think that I am ready to have a master and he can teach me to be a better slave and I can teach him how to be a better master if he would take me on as his slave. So...we will see. All is well for the moment.

I did go out to the gay club on ladies night and it was pretty boring. I didn't find anyone that I was really interested in and I only got hit on by a "butch". She would have been cute if she wasn't bald. It was a good experience though. I realize now that I will not do good in a gay club because I look too girlie for people to think that I would be the boy in a girl/girl relationship, so I will only be hit on by butches. I have also come to terms with the fact that I am in fact truly bisexual. I jokingly tell people that I am straight with bi tendencies but this is not really true. For me to be attracted to a girl she has to be the total package, beauty, brains, great personality...basically a best friend that I would fuck. With this in mind, it would be very easy for me to fall in love with a girl, which could be totally confusing for me since I am already in a relationship and also could be the end of the relationship that I am in. I don't want to get myself into a situation where I am in love with two people and have to choose or worse yet end up totally alone. The idea of being with a girl is appealing to me but I love my boyfriend and it is not worth losing the relationship that we have. If things don't work out with me and Richard then who knows, but for now I will just stick with him. I don't want to complicate things or lose him so being with a girl just isn't worth the hassle to me.

Other than that, nothing much exciting this week. I am still in training at work and will go live next week. I am excited and a little bit nervous but more excited than nervous. My friend Wendy from work brought her little brother over for Kali to play with and we will probably do that again. They rocked out on guitar hero and Kali showed off of course. I mainly hung out with the baby (Wendy was babysitting the trainer from work's 18 month old son.) He was so cute and it just reminded me of how much I want to have a baby. Richard is getting ready to apply to go to school to get his mba, so that won't be a possibility for at least two years from fall, so I need to come back to reality. I am just emotionally ready to have a baby and I know that deep down I want to be with Richard forever. I know that if we were married, I would do everything I can to work through any disagreements or problems that we may have. I believe that a good marriage takes work, understanding, and compromise. I just wish that he was ready because I am....oh well, we will see....who knows what the future holds...

I am excited for this weekend. About 7 of us are going out for Richard's birthday (which is today) tonight. We are going to go out to dinner and go night clubbing. I can't wait. We girls have a whole day planned of shopping, pregaming and getting sexy for the occasion. I hope that Richard will have a great time. This is his first birthday since we have been together and I am hoping that it will be a memorable one. Last night we had the family birthday party with Kali. I made steaks for dinner and a cake for dessert. I didn't know what to get him for a gift so I will cover the costs of our evening out tonight. Kali was also really sweet last night. She made a toast to "our family", meaning the three of us. I am glad that she thinks of us as a family and hopefully the relationship will continue to grow so that Richard will take me on as his wife.