The Blog of kiragirl79

Well, me and my bf conversed about our problems a little bit. I told him how I feel that I have thrown myself so much into the relationship that I have lost myself and that we need more excitement. He noticed that there has been distance between us and I have surely been feeling it myself. He said that he doesn' t know why he is distant. This just makes me even more paranoid and worried. Maybe he is just bored and unhappy with the relationship and he doesn't identify that as the reason yet.

I am almost to the point of wondering if we should break up. I really do love him but I am tired of feeling hurt all of the time. He said that in his relationship with his ex wife he went through several months of no affection. I feel like our relationship is headed in that direction. It is like I know that he loves me because of his actions, but I also fail to feel that feeling of being loved and I most certainly don't feel that he loves me even a fraction as much as I love him. I often wonder if he ever will and if maybe I have just set myself up for another failed relationship. I wish that I never would have fallen so hard so fast. I should have been more cautious with my feelings, but I made the mistake of opening up to him and now I regret it.

I guess that we need to have a serious talk. The move to Iowa will be a big move and a big step. I just don't know if this relationship is ready for such a big step. I know that I am, but I doubt if he is. I feel like this could be the beginning of the end.